Relationships Within Your Body: Doing Your Part Instead of Doing It All

"Relax your shoulders."

It's something I say a lot when I teach. And as I glide back and forth on the Pilates reformer, I'm finally getting a taste of my own medicine. I cannot, for the life of me, get my shoulders to relax 😖

When we do new movements, like going to a yoga class or attending a reformer Pilates class, unconscious movement patterns get brought to light. For a lot of people I work with (and myself), the tops of the shoulders and neck (upper traps) start to take over when things get hard.

Even though it's common, the thing is, one muscle group isn't supposed to try and do everything.

The upper traps are supposed to help with things like

• shrugging your shoulders

• lifting your arms overhead

• tilting your head back and forth (ear towards shoulder)

You don't need to use your upper traps to...

… stand on 1 leg in tree pose

… bring your arms behind you

… think

But for some reason, when things like that happen, you might notice your shoulders start migrating up your neck and towards your ears.

The parts of your body are in relationship with each other

Your body is an ecosystem of moving parts, systems, and energies. The parts of your body interact with each other and are in relationship.

Muscle Groups

In the work I do with yoga asana (poses), I work with muscle groups. These are groups of muscles that interact with each other. They work together to bring balance, but I like to go beyond bicep, tricep.

When I look at muscle groups, I like to see how the muscles interact with each other in relation to an issue my private yoga clients are having. For example, when people talk about low back pain, there are a lot of different causes. Some of them could be

• tight hamstrings that pull on the sitbones

• tight hip flexors that pull on the low back

• overstretched or weak abdominal muscles

• a combination of all of them

Interconnected Body Systems

From cells to organs to the systems that they create, they are all interconnected. Each body system has its own job, and they work together to help you stay alive and regulated. For example, the blood in your circulatory system interacts with the respiratory system to pick up oxygen from your lungs and transport them to the muscles in your musculoskeletal system. That oxygen is used in the reaction that contracts your muscles and helps you move.

When the body's relationships become dysfunctional

The body's relationships, like in other relationships, can become unbalance. Maybe one part is doing more work than the others. It could be the communication between the systems isn't as good as it could be.

Let's go back to the upper trap example where they upper traps were activating when they didn't need to be. Maybe it was easier for them to do a job that they weren't designed to do. They were helping take the load of pulling the arms back. They're big muscles, and it was easy for them. But then they kept taking on extra work, and eventually they ended up doing that extra work all the time... along with their current job. The shoulders ended up getting tight and cranky. And the muscles that were designed to do the work got weak, uncared for, and maybe even tight. No one in that relationship is happy.

The key is to bring balance to the parts in relationship with each other

A balanced muscle group doesn't mean each muscle does the same amount of work or the same job. It means your muscles do the jobs they were designed to do, when they’re meant to do them.

The muscles that were taking on other jobs need to learn to relax and not step in to do everything. The other muscles need to be given the opportunity to do what they were designed to do and build strength in their task. Some muscles do more front and center work. But it also means that your smaller, less well known muscles are supporting in the background and doing the work they were designed to do as well. Eventually, the whole group is happily participating in the functioning of your body.

What we see mirrored in our bodies is mirrored in the world around us

If this story sounds familiar, it's because what we see in our bodies is mirrored in the world around us, and vise versa. The same things play out in relationships between people, at the work place, volunteering, and organizing.

As humans, just like in the body, we're not meant to do it all… even though sometimes we might try. We're meant to do our part and be supported by our community around us.

If you notice yourself taking on too much -- whether that's a task, responsibilities, or emotions -- I invite you to

1. Pause. Create a break in the pattern.

2. Reset. Allow yourself to gain the separation and energy to see clearly. This could be anywhere from a couple breaths, to 5 minutes, to 1 week, or even longer.

3. Reflect. Drop into the wise part of yourself and begin asking questions about what feels out of balance. Below are some things to consider, but feel free to come up with the questions that feel right for you.

• What are the parts I'm playing? What am I taking on?

• Is this what I'm best suited for or what I want to do?

• Where can I sources support from my community?

• What do I need to bring balance?

Please note, depending on your social position and lived experiences, you could have more or less support or options available. This is not a success or failure on your part. This is the result of the human-created systems that share our world.

If you're looking for support, feel free to chat with me about relationships between your muscles. And since I can't do it all, I invite you to check out the community resources curated by She Goes High.